it's the final countdown

well, here i am... embarking on my last month living in grass valley. probably for good. i can't think of any reason i would ever move back here; sooner than retirement. i mean, there are no schools here... no good jobs... nothing to do with films... there is just nothing here for me. well, there is. but nothing within reach, i supposed. things i want, but can't have. i'm better leaving them all behind. the beginning of the end? the end of the beginning? who knows what it even is anymore? SIGH. i feel like it's been too long to even do a bullet point checklist. but i'll try to update you, since my last posting... work: manager at 49er fun park (stilllllllll) & beantrees organic coffee in sacramento....i'ma VP at corporate, yo! (yeah, that "yo" phase still hasn't warn off) i'm living in grass valley with jon bell and tony britton. they're rad dudes, but i'm about to move out. december is the last month of my lease, so i should be out by jan. 1st 2010 -holy shit, it's almost 2010-already! and yes, here goes, back at my mother's house in yuba city. yikes. so, sean and i broke up last, and i've remained single and focused on my personal/work/school/family life quite successfully! -pretty proud of myself. i'm going to art institute for a major in digital filmmaking. almost done with my first year! woo! commuting is tiring me out....like supa fasttttt. it will be weird to see where things go from here. i don't know what's waiting for me in yuba city- if anything. it's hard to imagine anything could be left in that town for me. and furthermore, i'm constantly struggling with an irrational (or rational-who knows?) fear of discontent and regret with the way i'm about to leave things in grass valley. i wonder, once i'm gone... what will i miss? who will i miss? who will i keep? what will always stay with me? what will i tell my children/future husband about when i share stories of my young adult life? the questions are probably insignificant, however, the answers are fascinating, nonetheless. -atleast to me. we shall seeeee we shall see.

also, goodbye to snow.
and watching all of jon bell's office/himym dvds.damn.