The Virgin Sturgeon

Last week was my first visit to our new bar. Nick/Dylan/Cj discovered it and it seems to have all the necessary components for a respectable hangout.

1) it's close and convenient. within walking distance from Dylan/CJ's apartment. (and for a bar, within walking distance is a matter of public safety)

2) it's all about public safety. :)

3) it's a bar right on the river

4) it's a restaraunt

5) it's a marina!

6) you have to walk down an airport boarding tunnel to get into the building

7) it's inhabitants are old gentleman sailors

8) it's totally hidden from the rest of sacramento and the world.

9) Busy enough to be enjoyable, social, and still in business.

10) isolated enough that there places available to sit when you go in late on a Friday night

and lastly...

i just know that i will come across some sketchy individuals that sit me down one stormy night to tell me a true story I never could have imagined. i, a naive little girl, will be lectured by a wrinkled, and traumatized old sailer who insists I listen to him and be the one to buy him more drinks. I will get way in over my head and probably cursed. I also hope to wittness a sea monster in the distant fig while drinking a beer in the cold. (or a hard, hot, apple cider is more like it)

What adventures await us...

My Letter of Beatles Titles

Dear Prudence,

Do you want to know a secret? I’ve got a feeling I’ll be back, In spite of all the danger.

I should have known better. A taste of honey can’t buy me love.Come and get it, Boys!

Come together! Tell me what you see! Every little thing don’t ever change.

I’m so tired, Because the night before don’t let me down. A shot of rhythm and blues

from me to you-That means a lot. 12-bar ogirinal Searchin’ For no one.

Ask me why another girl don’t bother me.

She said, she said, “Please, please me.” Ain’t she sweet?

Oh darling -That’ll be the day. She came in through the bathroom window.-Devil in her heart.

Run for your life! Free as a bird!

Shout, “Not Guilty! Not Guilty!”

Honey Don’t. Slow down! Wait!

Real love don’t pass me by. You (The fool on the hill) like me too much

Mr. moonlight, Not a second time. (this bird has flown)

I’ll follow the sun. I don’t want to spoil the party.

I forgot to remember to forget: What goes on...It’s only love.


-Good Day Sunshine


P.S. I love you

i'm sooo-oh-oh tired

They say sleep is essential for survival. Well. I've gone five days without drinking any water. What now?

Honestly, though, I am so tired. Last night was supposed to be my "be in home bed early" night-as decided so by myself. I was really looking forward to it. I haven't slept long enough to establish a dream since I don't remember. I have been awake for 125 of the last 144 hours. That's 13% of my last 6 days reserved for sleep which equates to about an average of 3 hours per night this week.

Last Wednesday I did not sleep at all! ever! and somehow i made it in time to clock if for work at 8am on Thursday and then I worked. I took no lunch breaks. I had no ten minute breaks. and i went to my multiple jobs and didn't "clock-off" until 10:20pm.

i subsequently feel hung over all the time even though I haven't been drinking (but this is most likely due to the lack of water). but i show up to work, i do a great fucking job, and i don't bitch. (is this bitching?) but it sucks.

I have various reasons for depriving sleep: The fact that I work 4 jobs and can only do my homework at night, having to commute to go to school, savings friends who are stranded in the Bay Area and need rides back to Sac, going to shows, visiting brothers whom i never see that are briefly home from rehab, conversing all night with fascinating boys, girlfriends having emotional breakdowns at 3am, and of course, my love of being manipulated into doing things I don't genuinely want to do. FYI-that is NOT directed at last night. I had fun on our adventure of rescuing natalie.

I'm actually daydreaming about sleeping. Right Now. I can't stop fantasizing. Clean bedsheets, mmm... Giant, smothering, silk blankets overfilling with goose feathers for me to swim in! My squishy, "thin-as-air" pillow will be strategically placed above my firm "foundation" pillow.

I'm carefully planning out exactly which PJs will be most enjoyable. Flannel and cuddley? Silky and smooth? Sweats? Socks? All out in the nude and raw? I will leave the window open slightly so there is a breeze in my room. I will probably play a rhythmic pinback CD that rocks me to slumber, or Harry Potter Books on Audio. Yes, that's a great idea...

I will make myself tea! Though I'll be so tired I will fall asleep before I drink it and it will set next to my bed getting cold. I wonder if i'm awake enough to get something delicious to eat in bed. Something really hot that will fill my belly and make my eyes heavy. Soup? Curry? Chow Mein? But also something that tastes awesome cold so I can pass out in bed, wake up and start eating again without getting up.

pizza....I can't wait.

I have never been so excited.

This is going to be the Ultimate Sleep.

Robot Peircing

I'm toootally doing it.

if i could- i'll find a way.

Series Finale.....bitter sweet

With only 4 episodes left we have very little opportunity left for anything and everything to happen. please, observe the new 2-part poll!

Which old couples, that we know and love, from season 1 will reunite in the end for a galatic happily ever after?

-and which ones do we hoplessly wish would get back together for one more ironic and hilarious go?

VOTE!

Starbuck and Apollo?

Tigh & Ellen?

Boomer & Chief?

Baltar & Caprica 6?

I Have Bretrayed My One True Love

-but he just doesn't turn on like he use to.

it's my piano.
when i moved on new year's i lost my adapter plug.
it's been nearly two months since he's turned on.
51 days since I've played piano.
1,224 hours since I've written any music.
73,440 minutes of keeping all emotion cooped up.

not okay.

so the other dylan said, "you should learn guitar."
-which he's been saying for like, what? um ever, now, and i never do.
this time however, i said "ok," and meant it.

for multiple reasons
1) i like guitar
2) i need to play SOMETHING
3) it will be a nice hobby to keep me focused, yet distracted throughout my oh so recent breakup.

so, for the price of buying nick a beer at the fox & goose (which i didn't do) i took his guitar home with me and have actually been "practicing." At first I loved it, which made me feel extrememly guilty everytime I looked at my neglected keyboard. It's much easier to learn-having already understood music theory. It's like I already know which notes make which chords-i just have to figure out which of those notes are where on the guitar. It's a love-hate relationship with myself little miss guitar. i'm sure i would have left her long ago, had i not been stuck with her due to lack of accessible pianos.

So lately i've been comparing piano and guitar


1) piano has such a huge range on it- there is much more "master" than on a guitar, which only has six strings

2) you can practice piano for as long as you want without physical reprocussions whereas the stupidass guitar likes to rip apart your fingers. i seriously can't do sessions longer than 30-minutes. will this get better? please, tell me it does.


3) guitar is easier to sing to (or fuck up to, rather) because so many notes are contasntly blending together. i realize anyone's voice sounds nice to guitar (correction: most people's voices) and you can sing however you want
-when you play piano i feel like you can't get away with being "off" slightly
AND you could never get away with quiet, indie, whisper voice because you have to sing loud enough to be heard over the giant piano

4) guitar is portable. it's everywhere you want it to be. -incredibly convenient.


5) guitar is a much more affordable instrument to play

6) everyone thinks they can play guitar, AND HAS TO SHOW YOU??? hey man, can i show you something? can i play it? can i try something? OR they don't say shit and just pick it up and play.
and it doesn't matter if you've taken it somewhere with you or if you invite people to your home and the guitar is sitting in the corner minding its own business.
do you know how many conversations in my bedroom have been ruined by interrupting the discussion just to listen to someone slowly play the same 4 chords over and over


anyways, i haven't given up yet and i'm not going to be able to afford to buy a new piano anytime soon so i'm venturing forth on my selg-guitar-lessions.
if anyone has any advice (i know most of you are more musical than myself) let me know!

for the record: the piano is still my one

wow-bill-wow

I think everyone ever can agree that the beginning of battlestar's season 4.5 was awesome. ~incredibly depressing and-dare i say-hilarious?!
The most entertaining character being-of course-Adama for his completely out of character and blatant "frack-it" attitude. Yes, yes, yes, we can go on and on
and on....

What do I want to focus on? Well, my obsession with Starbuck and Apollo. It's what got my hooked to the show in the first place. They need to get together. It's what I'm waiting/hoping/and watching for. I really hated it when Lee married Odwalla (How is it spelled?-Because I know it's not like the juice). She was just an ultra lame rebound that somehow lasted way too long. you can only imagine how excited I was by the end of last season. They get divorced and Starbuck realizes Sam is a cylon-relationship doomed.

So when this season starts out and Lee and exwifey go out on a date I was-clearly-not impressed. Then she kills herself! Everyone else was shocked and (i'm assuming) sad. Not me. BEST PART OF THE ENTIRE EPISODE.
(aside from the scene in the morge directly following)

Now, at first I was less than amused, because my first fear was that she was the fifth cylon. Nope-not cylon-just dead.
And now Lee is in the free and clear. It's only a matter of time...

Full On Bangin'

So, I have my hair appointment tonight-which always puts me in a great mood. Changing your hair can be such a transformation, and you can do it one day! it's not like working out at the gym, or cleaning your face, or tanning, where you have to wait weeks and even months before you notice any results.

I could never be a boy. they must get so bored with their hair. i guess this explains the facial hair obsession. it's their compensation for not being able to twirl, clip, and curl luscious locks.

i had decided on the color and length weeks ago, however have still been bouncing back and fourth on one decision.
bangs? no bangs? I dig bangs, but my hair stylist told me that bangs are so 2007.-fuck that. she also told me i just couldn't part my hair straight down the middle. and i seemed to get away with that okay.

okay-to the point-yes i know-sorry.
i was browsing chicks with bangs (and i'm not talking trendy side swept bangs. i mean full on- bangs my mom made me have when i was 8) and i realized something. Most of the chicks that are "full on bangin" are some of my favorite female musicians.

Check out Jenny Lewis & w/ rilo kiley

<---bjork

joanna newsom--->

<---Sarah Neufeld of Arcade Fire
(she's the one right in front)

Jenny Conlee (awesome piano player-responsible for keyboard in The Decemberists)------>

Adorable Kate Nash (who is yet another example of the fact that it's okay to love mainstream pop if the artist is British)

Natalie Gordon of Agent Ribbons. They're not famous, but they are fresh outa Sac and awesome. Look 'em up!

<---Kate Bush (though this picture shouldn't count because everyone had big hair and thick bangs in the 80s)

And this is a great picture of Sia------------->
It's different from her normal photo-ops of glorious color. She just looks simple and sophisticated.

Do you believe me yet that great piano swinging gals have some correlation with bangs? No? Coincidence? phsssst....

isobel campbell (belle and sebestian)

tegan or sara...i'm not sure which one has the straight, blunt bangs, but it doesn't matter. they're identical twins.

Cat Power

I have come to the conclusion that all my soul’s musical inspiration lies at the tips of my bangs and I need to make them short enough to drip harmonious stimulation all down my face!

Whoever said Darth Vader was Politcally Correct?

So, I was walking down the streets of downtown Grass Valley the other day and in the window of the Old Vintage Crap Store was a Star Wars Pancho. Neat! It was designed to look like Vader's Cape once you put it on.

As if staying dry in the rain wasn't enough, now you can look like the Imperial Lord at the same time!!!

I just HAD to stop and take a picture, because it's not like I was doing anything more important at the time.

Well, upon my "closer look" I focused on the "adverstisement claims" in the lower left-hand corner.

Waterproof-that's always a plus when it comes to panchos.

Vinyl? -Cool.

Flame Retardant-Well I'm not sure why you would worry about catching on fire whilst trying to avoid getting wet in a rain storm. Even so, I guess it makes sense. Especially, if Vader himself had a say in the design. He probably wants everything to be flame retardant.

WHOA-WHOA-WHOA-WAIT ONE SECOND....

THAT DOESN'T SAY FLAME RETARDANT....that's not what I think it is-is it?

Closer Look? Oh yes, boys and girls, this Vader Pancho is Flame Retarded!

Surely, the makers of this glorious cape/protective rain gear don't mean retarded. Then again, I doubt they mean a slacking of musical tempo (slight pause to appreciate the pun).

So, this cape doesn't really repell fire it just mentally slows it down. You're still gonna be on fire, it's just the the fire on your will be a "little slower" than the fires on your friends.

Just so everyone knows, whilst retard does technically mean "slow," you must use the word retardant when you mean slow in referrence to a chemical reaction.

This is hilarious! What say you to one last close up just for appreciation?

I went back the next day to purchase it, but it was gone...
At least I took these pictures to prove, that yes, indeed, it really does exist.

Utter Jealousy

Never before, have I thought I'd ever be jealous of a seven year old girl. There is indeed a first time for everything. As if I didn't have enough reasons to abandon my musical ambitions! As if there weren't enough amazing bands out there that were SO amazing it made me ashamed to try and claim that I play piano. Here comes along little Emily Bear.
That name alone is preciously heartbreaking.

Emily Bear is incredibly talented, more so than anyone I know.
(that's right! misery enough company! so I'm going to beat down the arrogance of my fellow musical pals)
Emily Bear can play piano better than you!
That said, let's take a closer look:

• Emily Bear began her piano studies with Emilio delRosario of the Music Institute of Chicago (MIC).


• She currently studies piano with Mary Sauer on The Chicago Symphony Orchestra and jazz improvisation with Alan Swain.


• Additional mentors include Veda Kaplinski of Juliard and composer / arranger Donald Fraiser.

• Her first solo debut was a solo concert; including a 40 minute nonstop solo program. (most likely without any mistakes)
  at the time she was only five years old!
  (this took place at the Ravinia Music festival-for which she is the youngest performer in their entire over 100 year history)

• On March 24th, 2008, Emily was invited to perform at The White House for The Easter Egg Roll breakfast for President and Mrs. Bush.


• She performed a 30 minute solo concert mixing jazz and original compositions, followed by 2 songs played especially for President and The First Lady.


• Emily was a recipient of a 2008 ASCAP Morton Gould Young Composer Competition award for her original song, “Northern Lights”.


• Emily opened for Ramsey Lewis and his Trio on October 17th, 2007, playing a 30 minute solo piano concert.


• Emily made her orchestral debut in front of a capacity audience of 2500 people performing her original song, “The Love in Us” with members of The Orlando Symphony Orchestra at a private corporate event in April, 2008.


• Emily also performed at the 2007 MIC Gala where she played a jazz set at the Celebrity Piano Bar along with renowned musicians Ramsey Lewis, Corky Segal and Wez Kaufman.


• Emily loves to perform with the Jodi Beach Jazz Trio and was the opening performer for The KIDSTOCK Music Festival at the Wilmette Theater.


• Upcoming concerts include performing Mozart’s Piano Concerto, no.23, k488 in March, 2009 with The Rockford Symphony Orchestra and in April, 2009 with The Champagne-Urbana Symphony. Emily will perform a concert in February, 2009 at the Music in the Loft Concert Series.

-Ehem. I want my own CD!

• Emily recorded her first CD, Five Years Wise, in July of 2007. The CD is a mixture of jazz standards and original songs.


• A second CD, The Love In Us, featuring 10 original songs (including the 3 that she debuted on The Ellen Degeneres Show), was released in April 2008. She is a member of ASCAP and AFTRA.

She actually has several CDs.
I just think she's amazing enough for everyone to take a second to notice. sigh.

i have a new seven year old role model.

link to her webiste:
http://www.emilybear.com/galleries.html

you tube her on the ellen D. show. Seriously.

Exclusive Roommate Application

here's the deal. applying to be my roommate is a long and intricate process, however as long as you're patient and honest it will be as pleasantly satisfying as a refreshing hair cut. You may respond via: comment or through email for privacy. The winner will receive a free television upon move-in date as well as a rented u-haul-already paid for.
The application is split into necessary categories of rating, fill in the blanks, and simple Q&A.
Best of luck!

Basic Info
Name (nicknames encouraged):
Birthday (capricorns and sagittarius apply at own risk):
Gender:
Job:
Affordable Rent Range:
Pets: Names of Pets:
Play any musical instruments? (drummers need not apply)
Willing to share a bedroom?

How frequently do you? 1-never 2-sometimes 3-always
Date a new person? Host loud parties?
Get sad? get angry?
Switch jobs? Want to stay in you room-uninterrupted?
Read books? Play video games?
Play WOW? Attend Church?
Sing in the shower? Take bubble baths?
become irritable? Compliment People?
Get stoned? Cook your own meals?
Smoke Cigarettes? Black out from drinking?
Lock your front door? Clean?
Walk around naked? Sleep naked?
Condone sex is communal places? Pay rent late?
Have to smell mold before you remember to do the dishes?

Q&A
You just received one of your favorite movies! How many times is it acceptable to watch it in a row?

How many times a month do you watch your favorite movie?

Give me one good reason why your music collection is better than mine?

Top 5 things that you must have at any given point in time in your house:

What was your favorite and also least favorite quality about your last roommate?

Do you fall asleep easily to background noise/music or complete silence?

Describe your taste of member of the opposite sex?
(sorry,not for me. but most often the catch with the most amazing roommates comes with having to spend lots of time around their less amazing counterparts.)

Fill in the Blank-Fun with numbers
-also some good PIN ideas

4, 8, 15, 16, ___, 42

24__01

3.14 __ 59259

867-530__

"write me, stick stickley, po box __ __ __"

2. __ 18

Yes, this is still part of the application.
You must end with one verse or sentence of song lyrics that best describe you...

Dearest Baffled Babe-

Oh Babe,
You've been known to get yourself into a tricky situation or two, however I'm very glad you came to me when you did. -This is obviously a very serious condition bordering the "good blog gone bad" scenerio. Fear not, I see tremendous "fix" potential in your situation. However, before I get to turning miracles upon your blog a much more pressing issue must be addressed. Yes, you've guess it, that of your spirit, and optimism. Oh fellow blogger, you must never lose faith in that which you blog. That's MAINTAINING A SUCCESSFUL BLOG RULE #3, second only to...

1. Update Frequently!
2. Be Interactive!

~mail a $5 check to 211 n. church st grass valley, ca in order to receive a complete updated version of the MAINTAINING A SUCCESSFUL BLOG list of RULES~

You can't end your fight against gay stereotyping! If you don't fight for sexual(homo or otherwise) freedom of footware then who will!?

Of course there is hope left to be had.


Check out this guy--->


He's TOTALLY gay. I say that not because of the ballerina dress he's wearing (because that would be a stereotype) but because I got this picture off of a gay website.
Notice this guy's shoes. They are SUPER straight. Now how about that?


Don't you see, Babe? There is a big giant world of misconception and false representation just waiting for you to come and distort to your advantage!


Have you ever seen the movie Zardoz? -Starring Sean Connery. We all know Sean Connery is married to a woman. (Due in large part to the claims that he beats his wife). However, scan

<---THIS

image and tell me what stereotype that is.

Those boots look pretty "questionable" to me.


Maybe blame your models? Are you posting pictures of men that in fact, support the stereotype?

~Note to other reads~
C'MON GUYS! BABE CAN ONLY MAKE SO MANY CLAIMS WITHOUT THE MEN OF THE WORLD ACTUALLY REPRESENTING THEM! A LITTLE HELP???


Just don't give up hope, Babe.
Don't give up hope.



~Please grant yourself a moment of dramatizd silence upon completion of reading this blog to allow the full affect to sink in.~

CHECK OUT BABE SCANLON'S BLOG NOW! @
BATSHITGLAM.BLOGSPOT.COM
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dear Prudence,
I am in need of advice. I've been posting a weekly poll where I show a picture of mens shoes and ask people to vote on whether they think, based on the shoes, if the man is gay or not gay.Here's the problem, so far the poll results have been 100% right. I started this poll to throw spit wads in the face of knee-jerk stereotyping and have found myself validating it. Should I continue with the blogs or accept that prejudging (prejudice) is sometimes on target?

Thanks!

Baffled Babe

Free Advice

The reason for the excess in postings today is two-fold.

1. Nick was giving me shit for starting a blog and then not posting entries. well, now i'm posting every 10 minutes! take that nick. take my vengeful wrath! this will teach you to bitch at me. this will teach you to be careful what you wish for, lest i post Internet blogs at you! although, unfortunately enough for everyone else Nick gets to up my posting production with his sarcastic criticism, but is not one of the lovely people that actually gets emailed my blog every time i post. oh well. it's not like everyone reads 100% of their email anyways.


2. i drank an excessive amount of caffeine this morning and work is boring.

Now to my point...

The whole reason I named my blog DEAD...soandsoandso...was because i want to start an advice column. so will someone (anyone) PLEASE just send me some troubling predicament for which I may counsel?

water/water/water

water
water
water
what i really need's a good fixin'
doorknobs, pins, and needles
better button myself up
so no one sees inside
but you already know
you've known all along
you're in me
you vomited everything into me
that night we met
who knew i could run so long on empty?
don't feel sorry for me
they told you, silly boy
i'll rip your fucking heart out
then feed on it
like you wanted me to
because i needed the love so bad
don't feel bad for me
don't feel bad for you
it takes two to tango
and there were two of you
and there were two of me
and the four of us we had so much fun
making everything but love
they're dead now
now just you
now just me
did the better pair win?
really?
askin' too many questions
love me.
hate me.
bi-bipolar-oid
you're too smart for that
my-my-polaroid
always developin' faster
but you're still comin' out all blurry
someday it will come out right.right?right.write.
but can you really leave me now?
water
water
water
i'm just so thirsty...
and i think you might have some soul left.

More than an idea?

What? Really? Well, if I thought any of this would actually happen I probably would have thought up a better idea!
So! My first blog spoke not only of infinite wisdom, but of changed (which I would explain later).
Well, I believe now if the time to indulge...
It all started when I got accepted into Art School. ...Something that slapped in my face quite harshly. First of all, the only school I was ever "accepted" into was community college and that ceased to tap my true potential. For this reason I pushed my school "priorities" aside and dormantly lay hidden, disgusted as your average, apathetic 2.0 student. As much fun as that was (and it really was fun) the time has come to transfer (dun, dun, dun) to an upper level school. This means: new school, new house to live in, new town to live in, new friends to meet, new jobs to work at, new enemies to make. Now, for a small town girl that can be quite terrifying! I mean not all small town girls live in lonely worlds, if you know what i mean--contrary to my good friend Bill.
Currently, I live in a cute, however small, Victorian house with seven friendly housemates, one awesome roommate, and a loving boyfriend of over 2 years. So the idea of living/schooling/working/eating/even sleeping alone is quite depressing. There are more things than being socially and utterly independent that shake my nerves up a bit, but yes...So when i say "until everything changes," I really mean everything. I'm sure several of my peers have already gone through this, but sympathize with me here.

I must make a To-Do List

• New Job (Easier said than done)
• New Apartment (down payment, credit report application, possible cosigner needed?)
• Car (Need to pay down payment to refinance my car before I'm a poor college student)
• School (pay registration, enrollment, pick classes, buy supplies, buy books........)
• Student Loans (must get accepted!)
• New bank account (to manage financial aid money and keep it separate from my own dwindling electronic pocket book of pennies)
• Find roommate to take my place in my current house (takers?)
• By-the by....anyone want to live with me in Sac? (cj? Angela next year?)
• get proper closure from grass valley (so i don't create unhealthy psychological social habits)
• have an awesome going away party (which will be on New Years Eve)

New Years Eve...how appropriate. This will be hard. I am deeply in love with my life in Grass Valley and all the people here. Well, we still have 82 Days 13 Hours and 26 Minutes together.

• wish me luck

tremendous research has led me to believe

so, i'm pretty sure
within everyone's community
the ratios go as follows:

for every 1 person that likes you
1 person does not like you
2 people go back and fourth over time
and 5 people don't care

you naked? or them naked?

Which one is more embarrasssing for you?

Apparently, neither for all the ladies at my gym.

They all walk around naked in the ladies locker room.

-Which I might add is quite spacious and is more of a "hang out" than a dressing room. Which is the

whole reason I joined...the lady's hottub, sauna, in fact I barely even workout.

This is such a normal thing. Right? Why am I bothered? It's funny because the younger girls will walk around in bras and panties, something I'm very comfortable around. However, it's the elderly that really put their junk on display.

It's distracting. I go in and change and see them all. and then it's stuck in my head. i see them working out....

moving on.

so everyone walks around naked in the locker room. whatev. it's a lock room. eh?

however, that doesn't mean i have to be naked, as well.

well i think the little old ladies think i'm insecure. What with my towel wrapped around me at all possible opportunities of display. who knows? maybe my clothes makes them feel uncomfortable. it's like there's wrinkled all over the place, but one towel and everyone stares.

i think they even pity me, because lately they've begun complimenting me, and my tight skin-ed self.

alas, i've endured worse from life.
i must push through!
i must keep going to my gym!
i must learn to be naked!
i must work worth out!

you all just wait and see!
i will work hard and look like this soon.

hot.

Today I work I was given a client's name and phone number and told to retreive his address. Of course I could have checked a phone book or even just called the phone number and asked the client himself. However, given the generation I'm being raised in, I simply used google.

It's fast, and diminishes any chances at social interaction or paper cuts.



Just for kicks, I googled his phone number, not his name. I was so surprised at the info that came up just googling a simple phone number.

Naturally, I then googled my own.

(FYI-after several minutes of recent phone number googling experience I learned that searches are significantly more successful with landlines verses cellular)



do you know what popped up when I entered my landline?



myspace messages between myself and two of my fellow myspace friends. (namely Dante Wadley and Nicholas Doliber)

wtf?



http://www.google.com/search?q=530-477-6238&hl=en&filter=0

rachz tees, yo

For Starters!

I sincerely aplogize for those of you whom have already received emails of these pictures,

(especially conisdering the fact that you have no choice whatsoever in receiving them.)
but you couldn't possibly want me to not share my silly little chuckles with the rest of the world!

so these are the tshirt designs i made (while at work) today (yesterday).

<--THIS one is my favorite. I would wear them everyday.

Just you wait.

Yesterday's Idea

Today's Joke

Tomorrow's Shirt

crap! i'm off work!

peace

who IS that in the mirror?

does everyone else perfectly identify with their bodies? -not even perfectly. how about just majority of the time? am i weird?

i look in the mirror and my immediate reaction is always, "shit! THAT's me?"

it's kinda like when you hear yourself on a video camera or possibly someone else's answering machine for the first time in a while and realize, "oh. that's how i sound? that's not how i hear myself in my head."

well the body i have is not the body i think i have in my head.

-and it's incredibly disappointing.

what's the difference? a goodie bag of scars, bruises, hair, lack of hair, clusters of freckles, and an overall convex figure verses my concave expectations.



my perception of myself is tall. yes, very tall.

-with hair twice as long

-freckles on my nose

-tiny, tiny breasts

-unusually large feet

-and much bigger lips



then i look in the mirror! wow! step back. (at least my feet aren't that huge)



in all seriousness-even my facial expressions i don't relate to.

don't get what i mean? it's that moment we've all had when you're skimming through the pictures your friend sent you of that party a few weekends ago, and realize you're not as hot as you think you are when you're drunk. You think, "ew.-and i thought i was making seductive face."

yeah! it's THAT feeling, but all the time.

does anyone else ever feel this way?



it's as if i've just switched bodies with some foreign pod of skin and organs. can't i just switch bodies again, with someone else? -i wonder.

who would i switch with? hmm...

you know, with my luck, if i ever did get the power to switch bodies with someone i probably wouldn't be able to chose the body. i could just keep switching until i got it right.

i would need to figure out some form of idenitty verification with my friends. that way if they're approached by an unfamiliar person, with a more familiar code word-they'd know what's up!



what if i switched places with an old lady? my friend would probably think that was rad.

what about a ten year old girl? if i switched with a ten year old girl what would my boyfriend think?

would he rather kiss my old body? -knowing it's ten year old.

or would he kiss me? -in a little girl body.

hmmm...

i will make this a movie.



106 days 14 hours left to
puke-pull-pluck-workout-tan-hydrate-diet-stretch&soften to
have my new body for my new life