Whoever said Darth Vader was Politcally Correct?

So, I was walking down the streets of downtown Grass Valley the other day and in the window of the Old Vintage Crap Store was a Star Wars Pancho. Neat! It was designed to look like Vader's Cape once you put it on.

As if staying dry in the rain wasn't enough, now you can look like the Imperial Lord at the same time!!!

I just HAD to stop and take a picture, because it's not like I was doing anything more important at the time.

Well, upon my "closer look" I focused on the "adverstisement claims" in the lower left-hand corner.

Waterproof-that's always a plus when it comes to panchos.

Vinyl? -Cool.

Flame Retardant-Well I'm not sure why you would worry about catching on fire whilst trying to avoid getting wet in a rain storm. Even so, I guess it makes sense. Especially, if Vader himself had a say in the design. He probably wants everything to be flame retardant.

WHOA-WHOA-WHOA-WAIT ONE SECOND....

THAT DOESN'T SAY FLAME RETARDANT....that's not what I think it is-is it?

Closer Look? Oh yes, boys and girls, this Vader Pancho is Flame Retarded!

Surely, the makers of this glorious cape/protective rain gear don't mean retarded. Then again, I doubt they mean a slacking of musical tempo (slight pause to appreciate the pun).

So, this cape doesn't really repell fire it just mentally slows it down. You're still gonna be on fire, it's just the the fire on your will be a "little slower" than the fires on your friends.

Just so everyone knows, whilst retard does technically mean "slow," you must use the word retardant when you mean slow in referrence to a chemical reaction.

This is hilarious! What say you to one last close up just for appreciation?

I went back the next day to purchase it, but it was gone...
At least I took these pictures to prove, that yes, indeed, it really does exist.

Utter Jealousy

Never before, have I thought I'd ever be jealous of a seven year old girl. There is indeed a first time for everything. As if I didn't have enough reasons to abandon my musical ambitions! As if there weren't enough amazing bands out there that were SO amazing it made me ashamed to try and claim that I play piano. Here comes along little Emily Bear.
That name alone is preciously heartbreaking.

Emily Bear is incredibly talented, more so than anyone I know.
(that's right! misery enough company! so I'm going to beat down the arrogance of my fellow musical pals)
Emily Bear can play piano better than you!
That said, let's take a closer look:

• Emily Bear began her piano studies with Emilio delRosario of the Music Institute of Chicago (MIC).


• She currently studies piano with Mary Sauer on The Chicago Symphony Orchestra and jazz improvisation with Alan Swain.


• Additional mentors include Veda Kaplinski of Juliard and composer / arranger Donald Fraiser.

• Her first solo debut was a solo concert; including a 40 minute nonstop solo program. (most likely without any mistakes)
  at the time she was only five years old!
  (this took place at the Ravinia Music festival-for which she is the youngest performer in their entire over 100 year history)

• On March 24th, 2008, Emily was invited to perform at The White House for The Easter Egg Roll breakfast for President and Mrs. Bush.


• She performed a 30 minute solo concert mixing jazz and original compositions, followed by 2 songs played especially for President and The First Lady.


• Emily was a recipient of a 2008 ASCAP Morton Gould Young Composer Competition award for her original song, “Northern Lights”.


• Emily opened for Ramsey Lewis and his Trio on October 17th, 2007, playing a 30 minute solo piano concert.


• Emily made her orchestral debut in front of a capacity audience of 2500 people performing her original song, “The Love in Us” with members of The Orlando Symphony Orchestra at a private corporate event in April, 2008.


• Emily also performed at the 2007 MIC Gala where she played a jazz set at the Celebrity Piano Bar along with renowned musicians Ramsey Lewis, Corky Segal and Wez Kaufman.


• Emily loves to perform with the Jodi Beach Jazz Trio and was the opening performer for The KIDSTOCK Music Festival at the Wilmette Theater.


• Upcoming concerts include performing Mozart’s Piano Concerto, no.23, k488 in March, 2009 with The Rockford Symphony Orchestra and in April, 2009 with The Champagne-Urbana Symphony. Emily will perform a concert in February, 2009 at the Music in the Loft Concert Series.

-Ehem. I want my own CD!

• Emily recorded her first CD, Five Years Wise, in July of 2007. The CD is a mixture of jazz standards and original songs.


• A second CD, The Love In Us, featuring 10 original songs (including the 3 that she debuted on The Ellen Degeneres Show), was released in April 2008. She is a member of ASCAP and AFTRA.

She actually has several CDs.
I just think she's amazing enough for everyone to take a second to notice. sigh.

i have a new seven year old role model.

link to her webiste:
http://www.emilybear.com/galleries.html

you tube her on the ellen D. show. Seriously.